Tuesday, August 24, 2010 7:12 PM
August 24, 2010
Well, I’m laying in the hospital bed in room 631J at Tacoma General Medical Center and am feeling like my life is surreal right now. How in the world did I end up here? Two months ago, I was going to the gym everyday, playing basketball with the guys or running on the treadmill. My husband was in Iraq and I had everything under control. I was full of PRIDE and EGO!!
Now, I am dependent on my family and friends for basically all my needs. Even getting up from the bed to use the restroom at night requires Earl helping me get to my feet. I did some online shopping for some assistive device sites and ordered a handle bar to help me get in the van on the passenger side. Today on the way to the hospital, we stopped and got our handicapped placard (temporary) 🙂
What I’m wanting to share tonight more than anything is how I truly believe Earl and I are in the center of God’s will for us. If I had been doubting that joining the military was totally His will before, I have no shadow of doubt now. I’m not saying I was…but we all have our moments 🙂 . This year apart for deployment was hard, but it has made us learn to depend on each other as a family unit. Earl and I had excellent communication skills in place and now he and I feel like we are the one and same person. I truly can just sit and talk with him for hours and have fun. He is my best friend and I can’t even find words to describe how much I love him. Two weeks ago, when he had to start bathing me, I cried and cried from humiliation and gratitude…now, we just talk and laugh all day long together. We are two people living as one unit…I’ve never felt so close to anyone in my life.
Also, when dealing with the insurance end of illness, we are totally being cared for by the military resources. Tricare denied the Rituxan outpatient, but the Lord put me in the hands of a physician off-post who knows how to get things done through the loopholes and has been admitting me to get these treatments anyway. Praise the Lord for her and her concern for me! I feel so blessed to be in Dr. Titova’s care.
Also, living in on-post housing is a blessing! Earl and I moved from a two-story town home last year the week before he deployed to get a single-family ranch and now that is such a blessing. I called the special accommodations liaison for post-housing, and they will be coming later in the week to install rails in the bathrooms for me…and would do a wheelchair ramp if needed. It’s amazing what is being provided for us and I’m beyond grateful for the military’s programs and insurance.
I’m also feeling blessed by all the prayer and support from my family and friends! Facebook has been an outlet for me that is so wonderful. I love my connection to each of you over the miles and am in much better touch with people because of this illness.
I signed up online for a Bible reading plan on youversion.com and I love it! I’ve read my Bible daily for almost 2 weeks now…and that is great for me because I’ve always struggled in my daily devotions. God is drawing me close to Him and I literally can feel His Spirit hug me sometimes. He is the love of my life, and I am blessed that I have Him and my husband to make me feel like a Queen!
May you all be blessed this evening and remember that God uses all circumstances for His glory and good if we allow Him to!