As I am online Christmas shopping this week, I am amazed at how quickly 2011 has gone. I have been through so much this year and I have so much to be grateful for! I know I’m only 31 years old, but I feel like 10 years has passed in the last one and I have grown into a different person. My baby is a boy and my girls are almost completely self-sufficient. I am moving into a new phase of life that involves reflection and evaluating who I am and who I can still become in this short life. I prayed last year for the Lord to make me beautiful on the inside…and He allowed a terrible illness to take hold of my body. I feel like it made me change so much and I am more beautiful on the inside than I have ever been. What an amazing God whose ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts!
I am writing this as the kids are working on their homeschooling-frequently interrupting to ask questions and get guidance. I always thought I needed time away from my kids to appreciate them more, but I was only more annoyed and frustrated by their presence after a day spent away from them. Now that they are home with me full-time, I am truly beginning to acquire the love and patience for them that I desired and prayed for. Yet another example of God working in my life in a way I wouldn’t have done so myself! I used to judge and joke about people who homeschooled their children, or excuse it as something I could NEVER do…but the Lord isn’t interested in what we CAN’T do…He’s interested in what we are WILLING to do for Him. Here am I Lord, send me. Whether it’s baking cookies for the neighbor I don’t like, or volunteering to make someone in need a meal, or getting up earlier to pray…He wants my heart to be completed devoted to serving and loving Him. I am so pathetic compared to Him, but He desires my love and companionship regardless! All praise to Him for His mercy and compassion!
Are any of you tired of trying to do it all, manage it all, have it all? I know I am. However, my discouragement is turned to joy as I remember why I’m here and my true purpose in life. Life is going by so quickly, so don’t let it get by without acknowledging the ONE who placed you here. One day we will all bow before Him…so do it now so we can spend eternity together in the most wonderful place we could imagine…I imagine that there, time doesn’t pass by quite so quickly.